based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Randomize
