You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize