at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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