Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize
