is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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