we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
