She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
