one might say we're banned from that church
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Randomize
