I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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