There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
