my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
