Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
