It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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