I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
