maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
