i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
