Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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