Screwed.edu
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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