i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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