My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
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