so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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