fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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