I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
