Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
