Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
