I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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