He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
