What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize