You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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