wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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