Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
