There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
