Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
