oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Randomize
