Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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