the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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