Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
