I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Randomize
