I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
