she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
