R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
