Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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