i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
