I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
