i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
