i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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