I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
