Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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