you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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