After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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