Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
