discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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