wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
