omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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