I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
