Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
