'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
