Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
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