i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Randomize
