ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
