Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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